Friday, March 3, 2017

Attention: White People.

I'm Caucasian so I think that's probably the only race I can make fun of. I love how America's got such a melting pot of diversity. I'm also very interested in the rest of the world (yes, America, there are other countries in the world). I love other cultures and really just want to travel for the rest of my life. I've hung out solely with Black people and was very confused about some of the things that they did. They were merciless with their teasing and I genuinely thought they were being mean. That was just their particular friendship. (Not saying all Black people are like that, it was just my experience). I grew up in a small town that was probably 50% Native American. Everyone calls them Indians where I'm from. I'm aware that that's not politically correct but that's just how I grew up. It wasn't considered a derogatory term. The most interesting thing about Indians is their ability to laugh at themselves. White people aren't generally like that. White people tend to get embarrassed. I've learned to laugh at myself through my Native family members. It's much easier. And this is not a white people bashing post! My family is (mostly) white. However, we are cool white people. I guess this is really just making fun of dorky white people.

Image result for white people new balance  If my white boyfriend ever tried to wear these (and trust me, he's got no style), I would encourage my cat to poop in them. I think they made these specifically for white men to ward off any chance of them meeting a woman. Unless she's got a pair as well. And at that point I want nothing to do with either of you.

    Image result for poor people bologna sandwich   This is called being a poor white person. I've been there. Honestly this could probably go for any race. When grilled in a skillet, this is called a "McStruggle."

Image result for white people hair  Oh, man. Can we just not do cornrows? Cornrows are only mildly acceptable while vacationing in Cancun or participating in a cheerleading competition.

Image result for stupid white person names   I know everyone's seen this around the internet. What's most disturbing to me is that I kind of like most of those names. She really wanted the letter "y" in the name. Clearly this should be your biggest concern when naming a child.

Image result for redneck  Rednecks. They're everywhere. My brother lives in Portland and he says they are there, too! Portland is the most hipster infested city in the country in case you weren't aware. I should do a post about hipsters. Anyway, this picture makes me cringe because I know probably 100 people who look like this. Oh, I just noticed her Insane Clown Posse tattoo. How appropriate.

Image result for white people baby announcements   I actually think it's funny that they wrote "banana" on the baby's tummy. But seriously, what is up with these weird baby announcements? Also, that guy is not drinking beer. Look at those abs.

Image result for weird white people   Another example of a weird announcement. I'm assuming it's an engagement announcement but maybe it's just a picture of their love on a bale of hay. Either way, the photographer should never have agreed to this. Good job on the Photoshop, though. The guy's outfit is a nice touch. I think he's got on those damn New Balances!

  Image result for white people dancing In their defense, I can't dance either. I just don't care and clearly they don't either. Bust a move!

Image result for weird white people   I love this. The security guard's like, "What the hell is happening?"

Related image  Another time in which the photographer should have put their foot down. I've had conversations with people like this. The topics usually consist of Renaissance Fairs and cats. My parents forced my brother and I to attend a Renaissance Fair when I was a kid. I didn't know yet that those people existed, I just knew that my family and I did not belong. There were several giant pet iguanas and people talking in Old English.

1 comment:

  1. I can't even tell you the number of fried bologna sandwiches I had as a kid. :) I don't like bologna anymore, but I do still love chips on my sandwiches. heee