Thursday, January 26, 2017

I'm a Mean Girl.

I know I'm not a sports blogger but I had a funny and kind of mean idea. Forgive me. Here's a list of the top 10 sexiest athletes in no particular order:

1. Larry Byrd- Former forward for the Boston Celtics and proud owner of a pedophile mustache.

               2. OK, Shaq isn't actually bad looking. I just included him because                 he made this atrocious rap video:

               3. Dennis Rodman- Strappy halter bra: check. Belly chain:     check. Unusual friendship with terrible North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un: check.

 4. Pete Rose- Actually a former badass baseball player who was given a permanent ineligibility from baseball for gambling on games. C'mon, MLB, don't deprive us of that half-mullet and irresistible scowl.

5. OJ Simpson- Did he do it? Most certainly. Do I wanna be that glove? Would I be a terrible person to say "yes?"

             6. Charlie Villanueva- Former Dallas Mavericks forward.                               Unfortunate victim of a cruel eyebrow shaving prank. I told my                     friend that he looks like this guy. We aren't friends anymore.

7. Chris Kaman- Plays center for the Portland Trail Blazers. In his free time he mans a Viking ship to Greenland, drinks from a giant goblet and eats giant greasy turkey legs.

8. Joakim Noah- The ethnic version of "The Leprechaun." That tooth gap is flossed with a fan belt.

9. Paul McQuistan- I'm a sucker for a good mullet.

10. Yao Ming- He's not really bad looking either. I just thought I should include him because he's, like, the only Asian who played in the NBA.

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